Monday, December 13, 2010

The Box

Madame and I had a talk lately, and she busted me. She said " You made me dress in superman outfit for Halloween because you knew I would make you wear the matching girls outfit! And you just wanted to get the wig!!" After Halloween, I started wearing the wig on Sunday as Madame's maid. I wear it with the apron she made me. This talk came up when we were talking about other event. We had a friend's party that was 50's themed, and we decided to go as Marylyn Monroe and Elvis. Of course, I asked to go as Marylyn and Madame picked Elvis because she thought it would be funny. As Marylyn, I needed a white dress with a blond wig, bra, pantyhose, bling pearl and a pair of heels. None of which I had and I was looking forward to expanding my wear for Sundays' pleasing of Madame. Madame shot down me getting high-heels saying " I am the only one that gets to wear heels!" She was very clear on that topic, but didn't really elaborate why? I did end up ordering a dress and some blings. So for the party I opted out of being Marylyn and and settled for something else. During the talk, I reminded her that I stopped dressing in girls things and donated everything when we started dating, and I "closed" the box. She wanted nothing to do with me being girlie in the beginning, and I wanted her more than anything, so I chose. I am very happy with my choice because I wouldn't have such an amazing Madame if I didn't. Many years later, Madame bought me a pair of panties when we were out shopping and had me wear them for her one day. My heart jumped up and down and she had me smiling from ear to ear. After that, I felt that she had "re-opened" the box. But when I brought this up to her, Madame was very clear that the box is only "cracked" and it is not "opened".
This concept is a bit of a struggle for me, but with Madame's control over my limits and wardrobe, I'll behave. I will just follow Madame's lead and try not to Top-from-the-Bottom anymore. I know that the only way I will be able to enjoy anything anymore, is if Madame calls the shoots. If I were to wear girly things again without her telling me to or not being there, I wouldn't really enjoy it. I would feel empty, but under Madame's reign over me in girly things I would be full and happy. The fact that Madame has cracked the box back open was a surprise to me, I am not sure if she did it under frustration of my girlie side, or being happily in love and want to spicy things up using my girlie side. We'll see..

1 comment:

Weave said...

I hope She will open the box further for you. But we know,
She will decide. (pssst! good luck!)