Sunday, December 26, 2010

U-turn Wrong way

We currently have a CB6000, that Madame has me locked up in to keep me from masturbating. She wears the key to cage, showing me she controls my orgasms. Lately Madame has been traveling a lot lately and hasn't had me locked up. Per her wishes though I have not masturbated since I am not in the cage. To me though, I feel like now I am in control of myself not having an orgasm, and I don't like it. I know that Madame has control over me and that means I will not orgasm, but my will is not that strong when it comes to pleasure. If allowed to stray away from Madame's control, over time I am sure I will find a way to pleasure myself but not have a full orgasm uncaged. I do understand that Madame does not have time to play her part, but the longer I feel I'm off her leach the sooner I will fall back into my out bad habits.


Another One said...

There is definitely a different dynamic from "honor" chastity than being locked up. Having never been locked up, I do feel as if I'm doing a self served chastity. And one problem is that if you feel as if she is not paying attention, (or playing her part as you mentioned), it does feel like you can just go ahead and do it without telling her.

Fight that urge though. Tell her how you feel, so that at the very least, she can impart back to you that she forbids it while you are not locked up. It will have an effect on you.

Good luck.

EsEm said...

Another One
Thank you for the comment, it is a struggle to fight the urge. I talked it over with Madame and she gave me a happy ending I'll never forget, because I got to clean it all up. I think I can wait for that again.

Weave said...

I empathize with your new situation. I'd eventually have to give in... then regret it. Feeling you've lost that control must be rough... maybe my future as well.