Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Identity crisis

I have been having many identity problems lately. All my personalities have not been getting along. I'm not sure how many I have at the moment but there are more then the usual Gemini two. I feel this crisis, has been an on going issue for a while but has been more developed in the last couple months. 

The Cast:

DLM, is a recent addition. Madame came up with the name "Dickless Maid". DLM is Madame's personal slave maid on her lazy Sundays. The maid is responsible for doing laundry, cooking, washing dishes, dusting, cleaning the house, and vacuuming up pet hair. The most important duties are taking care of Madame's needs; a foot massage, back rub, breakfast in bed, hot bath, or personal sex toy. 

Abagail is my feminine side, and has been around since I can remember. She is very romantic, and loving. An old fashion lady into doing hair, make up, shopping, pleasing their mate, gossiping, cleaning house, cooking. She likes to wear dress no pants, like Modern women, satins, silks, pearls, lace, and leather. She is a bit of a queen too.

 Es is the sub boy.

Sissy likes to be dressed up in the cutest but silliest things.

Husband seems to get mad at doing the maids jobs. I just take out the trash, plumbing, electrical work, working on the the cars and house. Basically the dirty jobs. I also take care of all the personal finances for Madame and I. The wife makes sure I have clean clothes, nice food to eat, and a clean house.

Madame informed me when we started maid Sundays, that I was to do all the maid duties and what ever else she desires for the day, but the rest of the week was to be normal husband and wifey time. Madame has been to busy for me or any of my personalities lately. So, DLM has been keeping up with the laundry, and cleaning house. Abagail has been doing the Christmas shopping. Husband has been maintaining and repairing the house and cars, taking care of the finances, and even taking time to play repairman for Madame's elderly friend, also working full-time.

Monday, December 13, 2010

The Box

Madame and I had a talk lately, and she busted me. She said " You made me dress in superman outfit for Halloween because you knew I would make you wear the matching girls outfit! And you just wanted to get the wig!!" After Halloween, I started wearing the wig on Sunday as Madame's maid. I wear it with the apron she made me. This talk came up when we were talking about other event. We had a friend's party that was 50's themed, and we decided to go as Marylyn Monroe and Elvis. Of course, I asked to go as Marylyn and Madame picked Elvis because she thought it would be funny. As Marylyn, I needed a white dress with a blond wig, bra, pantyhose, bling pearl and a pair of heels. None of which I had and I was looking forward to expanding my wear for Sundays' pleasing of Madame. Madame shot down me getting high-heels saying " I am the only one that gets to wear heels!" She was very clear on that topic, but didn't really elaborate why? I did end up ordering a dress and some blings. So for the party I opted out of being Marylyn and and settled for something else. During the talk, I reminded her that I stopped dressing in girls things and donated everything when we started dating, and I "closed" the box. She wanted nothing to do with me being girlie in the beginning, and I wanted her more than anything, so I chose. I am very happy with my choice because I wouldn't have such an amazing Madame if I didn't. Many years later, Madame bought me a pair of panties when we were out shopping and had me wear them for her one day. My heart jumped up and down and she had me smiling from ear to ear. After that, I felt that she had "re-opened" the box. But when I brought this up to her, Madame was very clear that the box is only "cracked" and it is not "opened".
This concept is a bit of a struggle for me, but with Madame's control over my limits and wardrobe, I'll behave. I will just follow Madame's lead and try not to Top-from-the-Bottom anymore. I know that the only way I will be able to enjoy anything anymore, is if Madame calls the shoots. If I were to wear girly things again without her telling me to or not being there, I wouldn't really enjoy it. I would feel empty, but under Madame's reign over me in girly things I would be full and happy. The fact that Madame has cracked the box back open was a surprise to me, I am not sure if she did it under frustration of my girlie side, or being happily in love and want to spicy things up using my girlie side. We'll see..